When You Know It’s Your Last Kid It’s Difficult Not To Spoil Them

I got a vasectomy a couple years ago, so our 3yo is our last child. And I have to admit, I’m having a difficult time not spoiling Aspen. It’s not a huge thing. I’m not buying her extravagant gifts or anything (I don’t have that kind of money anyway), or giving in to her every whim. It’s more things like sitting at the end of her bed as she falls asleep each night.

With my older two, I stopped doing that when they were 2, but with Aspen, I sit there each night, and watch her fall asleep. I let her get up for a snack after I’ve already put her to bed. I never did that with the other two at that age. I’m a little more patient with her than I was as a young father. I’m a little more understanding with her frustrations and fits. I’m a little more willing to stop what I’m doing and listen to her ramble on about some episode of Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom.

I don’t know if this really accounts as spoiling her. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if it had more to do with where I am now in my own life. I become a father at 24. I’m 35 now. I went through undergrad with one kid, and grad school with two kids. I always had a midterm to attend to or papers to grade when the others were young. In so many ways, I feel like I missed their preschool years.

So with Aspen, I want to savor the moment because I know I can’t get these cute cuddly years back. So I sit at the end of her bed. I watch her sleep. I get up in the night to calm her even though I hate it.

Honestly, I’m just giving her the time I wish I’d had to give with the other two. And when I think about it that way, maybe I am spoiling her, just a little bit.

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