What It Really Means When Your Spouse Is Your Best Friend

I asked Mel the other day if I was her best friend and she gave me a twisted, I’m confused by your question, face and said, “Well… yeah.” Her response made me feel like I was asking if water was wet.

“Why do you ask?” she said.

I didn’t know exactly how to respond. I’d been thinking a lot about our lives together and how I don’t really have that many friends anymore. Or at least anyone I really hang out with. But with kids and work and marriage, I don’t really have all that much time to hang out with my buddies. And when I do have free time I usually try to spend it with Mel because I genuinely love her company.

Like most couples, however, we fought a lot for the first few years. There was a time, right after we had our first child, when we were both over worked and under slept that I thought for sure we’d separate. But once we worked through all that. Once we moved to a couple different states together, earned a few degrees together, had a couple more children and bought a house and minivan together, gained weight together, went out of fashion together, and shared every element of everything together, that we learned how to really, and I mean really, be friends.

I had a best friend before marriage, but no friendship has compared to the one I share with my wife. In fact, I didn’t understand what REAL friendship was until I’d been married for 10 years.

Now that we are coming up on 14 years, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather chat with about anything. I can’t think of anyone who better has my back, who I trust more, who listens better, who loves me more, than Mel.

It’s a pretty wonderful feeling.

What I was trying to figure out by asking Mel that question was to see if she felt the same. Naturally she did, which was amazing to hear, although I probably already knew the answer.

I didn’t know how to tell her all the above, so when she asked me “why,” I just shrugged and said, “I don’t know. You are my best friend, and I wanted to see if you felt the same. It’s silly.”

She leaned in and kissed me. “No. It’s not,” she said.

We talked about a few things. Nothing special. Then she said, “Want to watch the Great British Baking Show tonight?”

“No,” I said. I never want to watch that show.

“But you will because you are my best friend, right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes,” I said. “But we are watching Stranger Things the next night.”

“Fine,” she said. “But only because we are best friends.”

“We should get friendship bracelets,” I said.

Mel gave me a look that seemed to say, “Don’t push it.”

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(Mel and Clint 2004. Day one of their honeymoon.)

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