Something You Always Longed For

My parents divorced with I was 9. My father left for another woman. He died 10 years later after divorcing his 4th wife. My mother’s on her 3rd marriage. I have a slew of stepparents, stepsiblings, half siblings, stepcousins and stepuncles that were once family, but now, I don’t know what they are.

And I’ll just say it: My parents had an ugly divorce. It thrust me from one home to another, and forced me to take sides when I wanted unity.

In so many ways my childhood created a deep assumption that one day my wife and my children would leave, just like everyone else had. Mel and I are in our 14th year of marriage, and it took 10 years for me stop assuming that I’d eventually be abandoned again, and start assuming that she was the rock of my life.

And when I look on those early years of our marriage, I’m not sure what made me hold my ground when things got rough. It must have been love, commitment, or God’s will, because my default was “to hell with it, she’s just going to leave anyway.” But now, that I’m here, I’m so grateful that I worked through the hard times.

So if you are a child of divorce, and you assume that it’s just a matter of time before the ones you love will leave, realize what you have, focus on it, and hold strong, because you might actually have something you always longed for: a stable loving family.

Screen Shot 2018-01-23 at 8.52.46 AM
Recent Posts

Leave a Comment