Sometimes Kids Shove Things Up Their Nose…

I got a text from my wife the other day informing me that Aspen shoved a popcorn kernel up her nose and it wasn’t coming out.

I called her back because some things are too sensitive for text. Mel spoke in short disjointed sentences that were difficult to follow. She wasn’t exactly freaking out, but she wasn’t 100% either.

I found out later that Mel was teaching Aspen about seeds and farming during preschool. One of the activities included popcorn kernels, and in the blink of an eye, Aspen crammed one up her nose.

Why?

Because kids.

Mel tried to get it out, but Aspen sucked it further, and suddenly Mel and I were terrified, while Aspen giggled In the background.

Naturally, neither of us knew the long term impact of a preschooler shoving a popcorn kernel up her nose, but I personally imagined the worst. Perhaps it went into her brain? Perhaps it would grow into a full blown plant, and suddenly her head would explode with ears of corn.

I know this all sounds over the top, but seriously, when you are the parent of a small child, it doesn’t take much to go from calm to WWIII.

“What should I do?” Mel asked.

Call the doctor?

Call 911.

Pray.

We threw around a few ideas.

It’s in moments like this that I honestly wonder if we are qualified to be parents. Should we have been calmer? Shouldn’t we have known exactly what to do? Is there a section in some parenting book somewhere that tells parents exactly what to do when a child shoves a popcorn kernel up their nose, and the fact that we didn’t know made us horrible parents.

We ended our conversation with Mel loading Aspen in the van to take her to the urgent care. It was late afternoon, so I was going to leave to pick up our older two at school.

I was chatting with my boss about leaving when Mel sent me the picture below.

“Got her to blow it out!” her text read.

It ended as quickly as it began.

All of it reminded me of a line from Christmas Vacation when Uncle Eddie said this about his daughter, “Falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal. I don’t know.”

Sometimes parenting is like that. Sometimes things fix themselves.

I sent Mel back a laughing emoji.

Then I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

I assume Mel did the same.

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