So I Accidentally Put Poop In The Dryer. Don’t Judge…

I was home sick from work. I put some laundry in the dryer that I assumed was clean, but it wasn’t. Our three year old is still figuring out this whole potty thing, and apparently there was some Peppa Pig underwear in there that Aspen pooped in.

They may have come from daycare, or perhaps we just missed it somehow. In my defense, with a three year old, who knows where all the poop comes from?

Honestly, I’d love to blame all of this on the fever. I didn’t think for a moment to check that load in the washer for an additional load. I can’t even remember if the laundry felt wet. For all I know, Mel might have put some laundry in the washer, forgot to start it, and then I came along like the worlds biggest idiot and tossed it all in the dryer, assuming that I was helping out the family, but I was actually baking turds.

I didn’t realize what happened until Mel pulled me away from a nap for an interrogation. It took awhile for my face to go red. She’d already taken the dirty clothing out of the dryer and put it in the washer, but the smell lingered.

I’m not sure how long it all stayed in there, heating up and tumbling around, but what I do know is that the smell was something I’d never experienced before: a mix of dryer lint, fabric sheets, and dirty diapers.

Dried brown Indianapolis 500 style skids lined the inside of the dryer. I wiped it down. Disinfected it. The whole time I felt faint from my cold, and nauseous from the smell. I expended a good amount of elbow grease to get it all off.

I’d love to say that there’s a moral to this story. I’d love to say that we all learned a valuable life lesson, but the fact is, I accidentally put poop in the dryer. It made an impressive mess, and now I’m praying that I don’t have to buy a new wardrobe for my toddler, a new dryer for the family.

Hopefully you can all laugh at my situation. Perhaps I will be able to laugh at this later. Right now, I need a shower.

Photo credit: my wife (probably laughing from behind the camera)

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