Lies I’ve Told My Children To Get Them To Try New Food

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Dinner is often a struggle in our house that often results in Mel and I caving in and serving Mac and Cheese. I’ve told my children a lot of lies to get them to try new things. All of them have been harmless, and most of them have resulted in my children humorously calling me out on my B.S. Here are a few examples.

 

Me: Princesses eat broccoli all the time. It’s what makes their hair so silky soft.

Norah: No! Princess eat pink cupcakes. That’s all they eat!

Me: Oh! Is that how they stay so skinny?

Norah: (sharp nod)

 

Me: It’ll make you taller

Tristan: You aren’t very tall.

Me: Yeah… I don’t really like eating it either.

 

Me: Want to know what happened to your older sister who wouldn’t eat her peas?

Norah: I don’t have an older sister.

Me: Exactly.

 

Me: Do you know what’s going to happen if you don’t at least try some of that spaghetti?

Tristan (irritated snarky voice): You will shave my head and glue the hair to my butt.

Me: You don’t even sound scared.

Tristan: You’ve said that like a bazillion times and you’ve never done it.

Me: Perhaps today is the day. Go ahead. Try me.

Tristan: (rolls eyes)

 

Me: All Pokémon trainers eat bean burritos.

Tristan: I don’t really like Pokémon anymore. I like Minecraft.

Me: Ok. All Minecraft trainers eat bean burritos, too.

Tristan goes on a 20-minute tirade explaining the difference between Pokémon and Minecraft.

Me: Ok! Ok! You don’t have to eat it. Let’s just have a quiet time.

 

Norah: Remember when you said eating broccoli would make my hair silky soft like a princess’s hair?

Me: Yes.

Norah: I did that and look! (Points to wisp of dirty greasy hair)

Me: Have you not been washing your hair in the bath?

Norah: You didn’t say anything about washing my hair!

 

Me: How could you not like bacon? It’s what turned me into the man I am today.

Tristan: Is that why you can’t fit into your suit pants anymore?

Me: No. The bread crusts you kids leave at the table did that.

 

Me: I was chatting with queen Elsa on the phone. She said she LOVES Hawaiian pizza. It warms her heart.

Norah: Let me see your phone.

Me: No.

Norah: Uh-huh.

 

Me: You know what makes me happy? Baked chicken!

Tristan: Yeah! Let’s eat what makes us happy! I’ll get the Doritos.

Norah: I’ll get the chocolate chips.

Both kids: Yay!!

Mel: That backfired.

 

What are some of the lies you’ve told your children to get them to try new food?

 

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