Lies parents tell when they forget to move the elf

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Most of the lies I tell my kids over the holidays have to do with the F-ing elf. We brought it into the home a few years ago because we thought it’d be fun. Now I just get pissed off because I can’t ever remember to move it. Thus, I lie to my kids as to why he didn’t move in the night. I asked my readers what lies they tell their kids when they forget to move the elf. Many of the comments were hilarious. I am posting them here so you can benefit from the laughter, and add a few elf lies to your excuses when you forget to move that lazy sucker.

 

“They must not have believed enough. Then they usually apologize to it and write an apology note to Santa. LOL”

 

“You must have done something the elf did not approve of in this room, so he is giving you a second chance.”

 

“The elf didn’t want to go back to the N. Pole and tell Santa you were being naughty.”

 

“Someone must have touched him by accident. It’s ok. Let’s be a little more careful today!”

 

“My daughter said she’d had nightmares the night the elf didn’t move. I told her between her nightmares and me not sleeping well the elf didn’t have a chance to slip away without worrying about being caught.”

 

“I say he’s just super comfy in that spot. Or lazy. Or bored. The elf has been known to change places mid-day.”

 

“Someone just posted a pic of the elf and a broken leg and a note signed by Santa with strict orders not to move for 2 weeks.”

 

“I tell my daughter that the Elf fell asleep waiting for her to fall asleep, but sometimes I tell her she was a rotten child who is now on the naughty list and will be taken to the underworld in the Krampus’ sack.

 

“My friend told her daughter the Elf didn’t move because he threw his back out flying to the North Pole the previous night lol”

 

“The elf saw all he needed to see. A full report will be on Santa’s desk by 5, and the kid better hope he was good enough.”

 

“They were trying to trick them by staying in the same place!”

 

“He fell asleep because you stayed up to late”

 

“When we forgot to get him out after Thanksgiving we told them he got lost in the jungle in Hawaii. When we forgot to move him the next night we told them he had jetlag.”

 

What are some of your elf lies?

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