10 Crazy things said when sick and watching kids

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Photo by Ryan Hyde

The sad thing about being a parent is, even if you are puking, running a fever, feeling like death, you still have to take care of your kids. There really are no days off. I have three kids, and I’ve been a father for 8 years. During that time I have been sick about a million times while caring for my children. And the sad thing is, my parenting standards go way down. I’ve said some crazy things to get the kids to leave me alone so I can just sit on the sofa and keep from throwing up.

 

Here are a few examples.

 

Just put it in the microwave and push some buttons. It’ll get warm.

 

You eat food off the floor all the time. You can do it again.

 

I don’t know where the baby is, but she’s crying, so she isn’t dead.

 

Even a five-year-old can figure out the plunger.

 

If you ask me to make fish sticks one more time I’m going to die. Do you want daddy to die?

 

I don’t know where Bun-Bun is, but if you stop asking for him I’ll give you the password to my cellphone.

 

There is a bag of Doritos on the bottom shelf. Just eat that for dinner.

 

If he steals your doll again, hit him. I’m too sick to deal with this.

 

Stop watching me poop!

 

If you stop asking me for that I will give you ten dollars.

 

What are some of the crazy things you have said while caring for sick kids?

 

 

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