I hate when my wife’s face is white and her eyes red because she’s angry at me for saying something asinine, and I can’t do anything to make her feel better, so I wash the dishes and fold the laundry and try to keep the kids occupied.
I hate when I try to snuggle with my wife on a cold night and she pushes me away because she cannot sleep with the weight of my arm on top of her.
I hate that my wife will not kiss me when I’m sick.
I hate the fact that I don’t understand why my wife is attracted to me.
I hate when I desperately want to tell my wife why I’m angry, but the tightness in my stomach keeps me from putting the words in the right order, so I don’t say anything.
I hate when I can see my wife from a distance (at the mall or the grocery store) and notice that another man is checking her out, and realize that, for legal reasons, I cannot beat that other man’s ass.
I hate that I still find other women attractive.
I hate feeling helpless when our furnace is broken during a November cold snap and I cannot fix it myself, or afford to get it fixed in a timely manner, so it is freezing in our house for over a week, and all I can think about at work is my pregnant wife struggling to stay warm.
I hate being turned down.
I hate nights where I dream that my wife has left me, so I sit up for a few hours realizing that I can’t keep a budget, cook worth a damn, decorate a home, grow a garden, manage my emotions, sleep alone, or organize anything from my files to my dresser. I would be lost without her.
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